Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
