Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
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