I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
