It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
