I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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