Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
