Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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