Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
