apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
