Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
