I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
