Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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