Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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