i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
