Whod you bang
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
