my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
