I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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