hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
