Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
