you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
