This girl is more easily done than said...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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