I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
