i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
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