covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
