guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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