too bad you live with your parents still
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
