Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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