I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
