I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
