Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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