her vagine was all disorganized.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
