I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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