Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
