He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
