Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
