whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
