It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
