im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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