We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
