i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
