no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
