Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
