; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
