Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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