Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
