Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
