I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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