Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
