i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
