Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
